I have no news from Erik, appart the fact that they had a management event, nothing really interesting... Stan (my best friend) called, and we will meet on Saturday in Geneva. I really don't know what to do, I had planned to tell him, but especially because everything was working fine, that I was so excited with Erik and everything, but know that I thought about it, I'm really hesitating. If it would change anything in our friendship I think I would die, he's so important to me. He's father is gay, and told him recently, and he never told anybody appart me. He's so uncomfortable with it, and now I will tell him, and I'm affraid that he would feel "surrounded" by gays (it's also another close friend of him that came out to him recently). I don't know what to do... and if I change my mind I have to invent a story, because he's so much looking forward to hear of what happened in Zürich. And I'm so bad a liar, and I don't want to lie to him either. And moreover, now that nothing is clear with Erik, it doesn't seem the right moment... I don't know...
I want to write an email to Erik, to explain some things, and ask some others, but I don't know if I should. I want him to talk to me, to say something, even if it's bad for me. I hate to stay still and wait for something that will maybe never come. We could talk about it, but he just doesn't say anything...
Tyler (the american flatmate) is maybe coming to my place this weekend, and I have to find a way to let somebody take care of him saturday evening, because I need time to go to Geneva to see Stan. I thought that my sister would be perfect, so they could go out and who knows... she could well forget this swedish jerk for a moment :) I have to make them comfortable with each other on Friday.
Anyways, I shouldn't do that (coming home) because I have to work, and have no time left, but I don't really care about it, and I don't know how to do it. I'm so angry about the organisation here, and about the people in general, about my landlady that doesn't stop to sneak in the flat to spy us, about the phone line that doesn't work, about the guy at the swimming pool that told me that 15 min in the sauna would cost 15$ (and that is the reduced price because I have a season ticket!). I just want to be home with my friends and leave this place as soon as possible.
3 comments:
I think you're entitled to e-mail Erik and tell him what is on your mind and ask him your questions. But he may not have answers to all your questions. Don't push him too hard.
:( I'm sad that things are so down for you right now. You deserve better.
I think you should just tell Stan, but be tactful about it? Maybe say how much his friendship means to you and all that first. I don't know if that makes it easier or not.
*hugs* I wish you the best, as always.
If Stan asks just tell him that it's relationship issues and that things didn't work out and that you'd rather not talk about it. I think he'll understand...you don't have to lie, but you also don't have to be specific.
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