Done

I did it, I came out to my father. It was one of the most scaring things of my life. While I was walking to his place, I was feeling really bad, my stomach was upside down, and I was thinking all the time about how I should say it.

We had a normal dinner, and I waited untill his wife went to watch tv, because I wanted to be alone with him. Finally, I brought the subject of my sister and her boyfriend, thinking he would ask about me. It failed. Then I brought the subject of a gay cousin, living in France, and he started to say how he couldn't understand how one can be gay, about how all the gays have the same educational background and history (aka overprotective mum and absent father) etc... not very encouraging.

I told him that it was certainly something hard to understand for someone who like women, but that all the gays are not necessarilly the same, that all of them are different, and that there was a huge gap between a general theory and an individual situation.

Finally, he asked about my lovelife.

me: - it's complicated...

him: - why? do you have more than one girlfriend?

me: - no... I only have one person in my life, but it's complicated...

him: - why? who is it? what is the problem?

I was really hesitating, but I knew it was too late to turn back

him: come on, tell me, I'm sure I know who it is, tell me!

me: - the thing is... it's not a girl, it's a boy...

He looked at me, said nothing, was looking resigned, but shaken and sad. Nevertheless, even though he said that he couldn't understand, he said that he had no problem with it, that he had been having doubts about it for a long time, and that he loved me from all his heart.

I felt relieved in a way, but also guilty, for I put an end to many of his dreams, like have grandchildren. I know it is very hard for him, but he doesn't want to tell me. I could read it in his eyes, and it made me very sad, even though it is not my fault. I know he will finally deal with it, but it will take time.

I told him I had been going out with Raphaël for a year and a half, and said he was a great guy (he brought him at my father's for a dinner lately), and that as long as I was happy with it he had absolutely no problem.

After that, I couldn't sleep, but now I feel much better. He's now gone for the holidays, but he will come back in January, and I hope he will be glad to have dinner in our new home, with Raphaël.

This is it

Hey guys.

It's been a while since my last post. A lot happened, since then.

The good thing is that I'm still with my boyfriend. Everything still works very fine, we always manage to find a way to get through the difficulties, and are happy the rest of the time. We are going to move in together in just two weeks. I went to get the keys of our appartement today. We're both looking forward, even though there are some tensions and fears here or there. I really hope that this is gonna work well. He's been living in my flat for the last year, and it works well, I hope that it won't change.

The bad thing is that in a year and a half, I still haven't find the courage to tell my parents. I told most of my close friends, my sister, but not the rest of the family. My father is leaving for the Christmas holidays in his new wife country, and when he will be back, we will already have moved in. That's the reason why I decided to try to tell him today.

I'm terrified... I know he's my father and will love me no matter what, but I also know that he's sure I'm dating a girl, and really wants me to have kids etc. It will just destroy what he has imagine untill then. It's partly my fault, but I didn't know how to do to tell him.

My father and his wife are very ambivalent about gays. They happened to have gay friends, that even had a child, whose godfather happened to be my very own father. He never had any problem with that. But sometimes he says very negative things about the gays, and I have absolutely no idea of how he will deal with that piece of news. Hopefully well.

I'm just seeking some support here, because I'm gonna need a lot of courage.

How stupid is all that... Why the hell do we need a coming out?

Holidays reaching the end

Hi guys!

I'm still in a hurry, so much to do, these holidays have been crazy! I'm back from Sweden where I spent two weeks with my boyfriend Raphaël. It was awesome :) We were staying in my family so it was damn hard to play like "we're just friends". We managed to make some expeditions in each other room during the nights though :P

Being in a relationship is not easy everyday, but I try to learn and do my best. But even with some bad times, it is the best thing in the world. When you know that you can rely on someone whatever happens, you feel like you can do anything.

An another topic, we get tested for the STDs, and as we were clean, we started to experiment things without condoms, wich, I tell you, is bloody exciting!! :P To say it in a rude manner, to cum in your boyfriend's ass is probably reaching the highest level on the scale of pleasure! I got him doing the same in me, and it feels really good. You can really feel everything, like the heat, the moves, the contractions when reaching the orgasm... Best thing ever! Don't do it without protection if you're not tested though!!

Well, he's coming in a few minutes, so I have to go! I'll post some pictures when I'll have some time! see you guys!

Sea, sex and sun

Hi guys!

So many things to tell you and so little time!

My exams went well, and I'm in the team to represent my university in an international moot court competition. Could I do best? not much! :) I'm well happy and drank a lot of champagne lately!!

I went for a few days in France with my plane, and had an awesome stay. I made several flights with a good friend of mine, and it was abolutely wonderful. The landscapes are of a rare beauty in this region, and we could do stupid things like flying in river beds with the wheels just a few meters above the water, it was awesome. I think that I might have scared a few sailboats captains! :P

I'm just back from Turkey, where I spent one week for a wedding. It was in the kurdish part of Turkey, not far from Syria. I was astonished by the hospitality of the locals, I was treated like a king! Everyone was so nice! There where at my service and it was a bit embarassing to see so many people working for my pleasure all the day long... After all, I might marry a turkish girl!! :P It was just a bit strange to see men at the table, being served like princes, and women lying an eating on the floor in the kitchen, it is not really what I'm used to as a european, but that's their way of living. Being a man there is like paradise!

The women where fighting to take me to eat at their homes and to present me their girls, they certainly thought that they could make me marry one of them. Bad luck! lol! Some girls were absolutely gorgious though.

I was kind of attacked by a gay guy, that was well insisting. It was strange how direct he was, considering that we where in a very traditional region (aka not really gay friendly, AT ALL...). I was really sick and he took advantage of the situation to wank next to me while I was nearly dying in my bed, wich was kind of bad... at least he didn't touched me or anything, for what I recall.

I'm now heading to Sweden with my boyfriend. We have been going out together for three months now, and it is still perfect. I love him so much! He's the funniest guy ever, and we laugh so much that our abs are going well strong :P He's very sweet, and I'm looking forward to spend a few week abroad with him. The only problem is that we are going to be staying in my family there, and it will be so hard not to show that we're in love... I don't know how it is going to be!

- sexual content below this line -

I know that some readers might like a few steamy details :P In three month we have been doing pretty much everything, and it is the most satisfying thing ever! He's a total expert... The only thing that is boring is that we still haven't made the STD test, but we're going to do it when we're gonna be back from Sweden. It is so horrible to stop a blowjob for the last moment... I'd like him so much to cum in my mouth, and to cum in his! haaarg! :P but in two weeks my fantasies will become true! so much looking forward!!!

Yesterday, we were talking about his appartment mate, who came back from spain with his boyfriend with two dildos in a bag. I was like, why would you need a dildo when you have sex with your boyfriend?? and he said that it was kind of not totally satisfying for him to be a top and not have something in him at the same time. And in the end he was like, you know, I like to be a top, but I'm much more into bottoming. I was so glad because I like much more to be a top, we are really made to be with each other :P We had the best sex ever after that, I hadn't done anything for a week, so I was REALLY nervous, lol! We had anal sex, and the best thing is that when I'm on top of him, I'm flexible enough to suck his dick while going back and forth. He likes it a lot, and so do I as you can imagine!! :P just thinking about it makes me rock hard... We also tested the 69 with an awesome fingering at the same time later in the night, and I would strongly recommend it to you! Sex outside is also a must...

Well, enough thing about my sexual life, isn't it? :D

I wont certainly write back before coming back from Sweden, so I wish you the best summer ever! Go to the beach, find a boyfriend, and have (safe) fun!!!

Charlie

Full steam ahead

Things are going great :) I've been elected in the executive comitee of the little company I work for. That means more responsability, but I have no doubt that it will be very interesting and challenging. I've also applied to represent my alma mater in an international competition in Vienna next year, and wait for an interview with the professor. I hope that I'll be part of the team.

My exams begin in one week, and I'm not totally ready but I will make it, as usual, in a total stress.

After that woo hoo! Holidays!! I'm flying to France with my friends for a plane oldtimers meeting, and three days after my return, I take a flight to Turkey for the wedding of two friends. And then --> Sweden with Raphaël!! :) I'm so much looking forward! With the exams coming we have less time to be with each other, and I can't wait to be on vacation with him! Things are so perfect with him, I can't believe it :)

Oh... and sex is absolutely fantastic! With a lof of patience, I finally managed to take all the length of his shaft down my throat. It is indeed quite funny to tickle one's balls with your nose ;) Sex a few times a week is certainly the best solution to feel more relax and avoid stress! I suggest you try it!

See you guys, and enjoy the summer!

Spa

It has been more than two weeks now since our first kiss, and everything is still perfect :) We see us almost everyday and sleep at each others, it's so great to actually be with someone!

I should take more time to study but it's just so cool to be with him that I take a few days "off". He's coming a bit later, and we are going to have a Spa evening. I'm gonna cook some asian food, and then I robbed some massage oil at work that we are gonna try. He's gonna buy some things for the bath, and I bought some orchids at an asian shop, that I will put in the water, and also put some candles so that it's gonna look like in a real Spa. It's totally kitsch, but it's also rather cool :)

Couldn't be much better I think! See you!

Hot stuff

Steamy details for those curious who want to know (aka Aek ;) don't read if you're under 18 :)

Since the friday I told you about, my days and nights have been incredibly hot. During the day, I meet Raphaël during the breaks, we find some hidden places here or there just to share a kiss and talk a little. Nobody knows about us, and we find it kind of sexy to hide from our friends. I think that they will find out anyways because we are always leaving and coming back at the same time. He is so cool, so hot, so kind, so funny, sometimes so kinky :P He's perfect!

He comes everyday to eat at home, or I go at his and he cooks, and then we stay for the night at each others. I just wanted to share what have become a standard evening:

He came around 9pm because he was working at the tribunal (he's a lawyer too). The trial went a bit longer than expected. He called to say that he was leaving the court, and arriving shortly after. Everything was ready on the table, the plates were on, the bottle of wine was opened, the candles were ready to be lit. I had prepared a simple salad, and tandoori chicken, because indian food is his favourite.

Ten minutes later, the doorbell was ringing, and I opened the door. He was standing there, in a black suit, with a blue necktie, the same blue as his eyes. He has curly light brown hair, always in a total mess. He was looking hotter than ever. I catched his necktie and brought him in, and kissed him. He's far taller than me: I'm 1.72m, he's 1.98m!! so I have to stand on my tiptoes and he has to bend his head. We stayed in the entrance for a few minutes, saying how happy we were to see each other. I proposed a cold beer, and we went to the living room. I put some music on, lit some candles, and we talked and laughed while we were drinking. When the bottles were empty, I bent over him, and started to kiss him. It turned out to be far too hot, and he asked me to undress him. Still kissing him softly, I took off his necktie, his suit jacket, and started to unbutton his shirt. I started to rub his chest, very gently. His trousers where made of a very fine wool, and his cock, who had risen very early already, was now pointing to the sky in the most obvious way. He unbuttonned my shirt, and the first two buttons of my jeans. I felt his hand in it, and he started to carress my pubic hair, teasing me. I did the same, and very soon found the head of his cock, all wet and shiny. I started to make small rounds around his dick-head, using the precum as lube.

I proposed to go on my bed, as I have no curtains in the living room and that the neighbours are just a few meters away... We went to the sleeping room, and gently took our clothes off. Shirt first, trousers, socks... I went down slowly, leaving his lips, kissing his chest, his belly button, and I took the rubber band of his boxers between my teeth, and took off his underwear. His cock jumped out, and I got some precum on my face. He bent over and licked it. I took his dick and licked the drop that was leaking, the pleasure drop. With my tongue I started to go around his dickhead, as my hand was exploring his balls, his crotch, and his butthole. I looked up at him and saw that he was looking at me, from far above :)

After a while, he took his dick off my mouth, made me stand, kissed me, and slowly put me on my bed. He was on top, and I put my legs around his back, with his cock in between my butt-cheeks. He kissed my neck, my chest, went down on my belly button, and then started to kiss the inner part of my hips, just on the sides of my balls. I was leaking precum as never. It was like a continuous flow. He rubbed my balls with his tongue, and then started to lick my cock, starting from the bottom, coming to the top, like writing something on it with his tongue. He finally took the head in his mouth, and started to suck me. Very softly at first, and then putting more and more pressure. He was rubbing my crotch in the same time, wich drove me totally crazy. Just before coming, I told him so, and he came back to kiss me, while jerking me. I came so strong that we both received some loads in our hair. It was awesome. I stayed like dead for a little moment, and then went over on him. I did a special manoeuvre (charlie's secret weapon), and within just a few blows, he came just as hard as I did minutes before.

We were both damn hungry, and I went to the kitchen, with a towel around my hips. I closed the shutters, said Hi! to the neighbour doing so, and went back to the room. I took him to the kitchen. He sat down, and I started to cook, all naked (untill I realised that it was a bit dangerous, and took a apron). We ate at the candle light, all naked, with our feet rubbing whichever was reachable. It was great as you can imagine. After having eaten everything, I stood up, and went on the other side of the table. He was still sitting, looking at me with his blue eyes burning with desire. I kissed him, put a leg around him, and sat on him. He was facing the window, and with the shutter closed it was like a mirror, and I could see him watching his dick teasing my hole. We kissed like that for a few minutes.

Finally, we went to the bed. I went to take some condoms and lube. I put one on his dick, lubed it, and went over him. I teased my hole for a while with it, and eventually pressed the head on my hole, making it slowly enter. I was so in need, and so relaxed that it went very easily. I started to go up and down, gently at first, and then faster and faster. I was rubbing my dick in the same time, and was on the edge, waiting for him to come, with a level of pleasure that is beyond the depictable. He said he was to come, and shortly after, he came so hard that despite the condom, I could feel the shots of cum going through his dick. I shot my load and it went all over his chest and face. We stayed like that for a moment, short of breath, covered with the fruits of our pleasure, our eyes closed... Once I had cleaned the mess, we had a short nap.

I awoke because he was talking, he was saying absurd things about keys and lockers, and I was like "what? what?" and suddenly I realised that he was speaking while sleeping, but answering, and he had his eyes opened. He must me a somnambulist :) He finally awoke and he was all lost for a few minutes. I explained him where he was and what happened and we laughed about it. We rapidly felt the urge to do something again. I went to take another condom, and put it on my dick. I went over him, and started to rub his hole. I put some lube on it, and put a finger inside, very gently, going in an out, making circles, feeling his muscles reacting, loosing up or retracting... I put a second finger, and played with it untill he was totally relaxed. I lubed my cock, and slowly pressed it against his hole, it slipped into it without any strong resistance. I asked if everthing was ok, and we kissed while I was begining to move in and out. For such a tall guy, he's very, very flexible! He had his kees next to his hears, and his legs on my shoulders. We went on like that for a moment, and then I asked if we could do it doggy style. I had never tried it, and really wanted to :P

I took my dick out of him, and he went on his knees, offering the view of his butt and back, ready to be taken wildly. I went in, and started bigger movements, discovering other sensations. What I liked the most was to take my dick partly out untill the base of the head was just on the mucles, inside, and then go back forward, it was absolutely incredible. Doing that a few times made me reach the orgasm, and I shot my load with a big moan, far inside him, pressing my pubic hair the stronger I could against his butt. WOW :D No need to say that it was awesome! I blew him, and we went to sleep, happy as hell, and certainly totally empty :) It is the best way to have a good sleep, I tell you!

So, it was more or less like that all the last days, and I'm not bored yet :) still discovering new tricks, new sensations, new positions... but beside the sex, there is also all the feelings. To have someone telling you that he loves you is the best thing ever, and to come back from work and to find a meal ready to be served by a beautiful guy is fantastic! :) I'm so happy guys, I hope that this will never end!

See you!

(and aek, I will send you some receips if you want when I'll have some time :)