We had a normal dinner, and I waited untill his wife went to watch tv, because I wanted to be alone with him. Finally, I brought the subject of my sister and her boyfriend, thinking he would ask about me. It failed. Then I brought the subject of a gay cousin, living in France, and he started to say how he couldn't understand how one can be gay, about how all the gays have the same educational background and history (aka overprotective mum and absent father) etc... not very encouraging.
I told him that it was certainly something hard to understand for someone who like women, but that all the gays are not necessarilly the same, that all of them are different, and that there was a huge gap between a general theory and an individual situation.
Finally, he asked about my lovelife.
me: - it's complicated...
him: - why? do you have more than one girlfriend?
me: - no... I only have one person in my life, but it's complicated...
him: - why? who is it? what is the problem?
I was really hesitating, but I knew it was too late to turn back
him: come on, tell me, I'm sure I know who it is, tell me!
me: - the thing is... it's not a girl, it's a boy...
He looked at me, said nothing, was looking resigned, but shaken and sad. Nevertheless, even though he said that he couldn't understand, he said that he had no problem with it, that he had been having doubts about it for a long time, and that he loved me from all his heart.
I felt relieved in a way, but also guilty, for I put an end to many of his dreams, like have grandchildren. I know it is very hard for him, but he doesn't want to tell me. I could read it in his eyes, and it made me very sad, even though it is not my fault. I know he will finally deal with it, but it will take time.
I told him I had been going out with Raphaël for a year and a half, and said he was a great guy (he brought him at my father's for a dinner lately), and that as long as I was happy with it he had absolutely no problem.
After that, I couldn't sleep, but now I feel much better. He's now gone for the holidays, but he will come back in January, and I hope he will be glad to have dinner in our new home, with Raphaël.
4 comments:
Congratulations. Hopefully all will turn out well. Are children really out of the picture for you guys?
I can just say: :) and :( because I understand your every word with such a mutual feelings... And above all, I have to encounter the fact I'm the only child...
But who knows, one day, if you decide to have children, you can do it in some way... But until that day, don't worry about that, enjoy your time and your life with Rafael and it's great you said that to your father and that he's so supportive and open... My father wasn't like that, unfortunately... Sorry for comparing, but it's a human need :D
I'm glad to see you are blogging again... We missed you.
I wish you all the luck in the world, and good luck with moving in :D ;) See ya.
That must be such a breath of relief! Glad he took it so well, though I'm sure it's not something any parent wants to hear.
That said, you can still give him grandchildren!! :-P
Hey guys!
thank you so much for your support, it's good to have some "old friends" around!
Children is definitely out of the pictures in this country. the only solution to get kids is to meet a girl willing to give birth to your child, but then, the law is more against you that with you. I mean, even if legally you're the father, you have almost no right concerning the child, appart paying and seing him twice a month...
Moreover, I don't think I'm very supportive of that king of situation... a child having so many parents from the begining, it seems to me that even though it works for many people, it's not the best solution.
I'll take my friend's and sister's, so that I can be the good guy, without having to raise them, only the benefits! :P
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