Raphaël

Last week has probably been the best week of my whole life... I'm tired but happy as hell, and I'll tell you why:

Last Friday, I invited some friends to eat at home. I invited Yasmin, Alessandro, and a guy who's name is Raphaël. The three were in the same classroom at high school during three years. I like them a lot. Raphaël and I had spoken a few times, because he's a very good friend of Alessandro and comes to talk with us during the break. He's always laughing and making jokes, he's a very cheerful guy.

I cooked during the whole day, made a big salad, turkish stuffed-eggplants with rice, an orange salad perfumed with liquor and orange-blossom water, and a swedish ginger cake to be eaten along with the coffee. This was all going with good wines that I received at christmas and for my birthday.

We had a lot of fun together, it was a perfect evening. The only thing that was not so cool was that Alessandro's girlfriend was really playing the bitch and asking him to come back because it was "late" and that she wanted to see him (they see each other EVERYDAY and she calls him like every five minutes to ask what he's doing and if there are some girls around). She's horrible to him, far too possessive, and he never says anything and just obey her, and it drives me mad for him! Finally he went because she was stressing him too much. (the worst is that when he left and called her, she said that it was too late and didn't want to see him! but she waited untill he was on the road to say that. She's a real bitch...)

Yasmin stayed with Raphaël until around three in the morning. She went around that time, and asked Raphaël to bring her home (she lives just the house beside mine). Raphaël was like "shit, I have to go by bike up the city to my place" (he lives up-hill, and it very steep in this city, it's probably like San Francisco). Yasmin said "you should stay here, I'm sure that Charlie would let you sleep on the sofa", and I was "sure, you can sleep here, no problem for me!"

So he brought her, and came back here. I poured some wine in our glasses, and we continued to speak and laugh during the whole night. I had been a long time since I had laughed so much, it was crazy! My neighbours must certainly hate me :) Suddenly, we realised that the sun was rising! We were still speaking and laughing, but he came a bit nearer in the sofa, and put his arm on mine. I took it as a rather clear signal, and after a while, went a bit nearer, and finally put my arm around his shoulder. After another hour or so, rubbing each other shoulders in the most obvious way, I bent over him and finally kissed him :) We were so tired and we had waited that for so long that it was really special. We went on speaking and laughing, and kissing on the sofa untill three in the afternoon. It was so cool! It was really like we had always known each other and had been friends for ages.

Well, long story short, since last friday, we have been seeing each other for the whole week, everyday. We did not go to the lessons, and just took a week off and stayed with each other. We are still laughing and talking and kissing, and it seems that we are just perfect for each other. It makes me happy to a point that you cannot imagine :) He's so sweet (and so hot)! We have a day "off" tonight, for physical reasons :P sorry for the details, but my dick hurts so much because of the continuous sucking/fucking/jerking... I can't feel it anymore :P I hope that it will be repaired for tommorow!!! I know, you certainly don't want to hear anything about the hot details, that's why I don't talk about it ;)

Well, I think that we are just the two happiest men on earth right now :) I hope that you won't be jealous, and I wish to all of you to find a guy like that! I'm gonna sleep and have a long night, because I'm exausted...

See you guys!

London weekend

Hi guys!

The few days I spent with Stan were awesome! We stopped in Wales, and then spent the weekend in London. It was his first time there, and I did the guide, for I have been there several times. It's definitely my favourite city! I would sell my soul to the devil to live there! The only bad point is that we had two gorgious australian girls in our hostel room, and Stan wanted us to spend time with them... I was a bit jealous as you can imagine...

He's even more beautiful than last time, and he's so sweet... he's far to be perfect in some aspects, but I totally fall for him. We slept one night at his place, and I was just beside him, down his bed on a matress, and I couldn't sleep all the night, I was looking at him, dreaming that one day he would realise that he's gay. I would sell my soul for that too :)

I took an awesome picture of him, and I'd like to show it to you guys, but it would drive you crazy :P It is so beautiful that I can't show it or give it to anyone.

Just a few shots of my trip:

Bristol

St-James park

Camden Town

And just a nice shot of my last flight ;)

See you guys!

Time for an update

Hi guys!

A lot of things has happened during the last weeks... I started my new job, wich is amazing. But I'm so scared to make some mistakes! We deal with real money, real clients, and real potential trials. Forntunatelly, we are three legal advisor and we work together, to make sure that we don't miss anything and to share our point of view.

This weekend was my birthday. I was not in a good mood lately, I don't know why but I'm kind of depressive. Living alone never really affected me, but recently, I began to feel really lonely... I miss someone to share my day when I come back home.

I told you about a new guy. We had met at a party. We just had kissed, and then shared a few texts. After a while, he stopped texting, and I was a little disappointed. I went at another party last week and saw him with another guy, so it's probably better if nothing more happened between us. But I saw another guy looking at me during this party. My friend told me that he was watching me (which I had noticed). I went to talk to him, and I woke up at his the next morning. He's really cute. We exchanged some texts, and decided to meet again. He wrote something for my birthday, and it really pleased me to receive something from him. He came at my place yesterday. He brought a bottle of wine, and I did a simple meal. We didn't talk that much unfortunately, it was like we had nothing to say at each other... I tried various subjects, but the conversation never went a long way. However, he was still smilling and looking at me, as I was doing the same.

We went to the living room, and we started to kiss very gently, playing with each other, caressing each others hair, kissing our necks... it was damn sweet an good. It was not only erotic, it was as if it was our way to communicate. We couldn't find words, but we could find the perfect communication channel. We stayed for hours like that, looking at our eyes, caressing our backs. I could have stayed like that forever. The night we had together was equally sweet, it was wonderful, and I really needed that, some human contact, maybe even some love.

I didn't want to wake up this morning. Neither did he. We were so well, without having to speak, to feel this akward feeling you have when you look away, desperately trying to find something to say... But I had to go to work. I made some coffee, that we drank without speaking. We left my place and went each our way. He said thanks, and that we would meet soon, but I don't think that this will happen, and it makes me so sad. I feel like I'm never gonna find someone to love, and it's a horrible feeling... each time that I meet a guy and that it is going this way, it seems to me that I'm going further and further from the chance of not finishing my life sad and alone. Maybe it was just the wrong guys, but what if there is no right one?

Fortunately, I have my friends around, and they are the best you could wish, and they proove it to me every day.

Leaving for UK tomorrow, with Stan. I'm looking forward at a point that you cannot even imagine! I'll told you about it when I'll be back!

See you guys!

New job

Hi guys! Another good piece of news: I got my very first as a legal advisor in a company today! :) I sent my CV last week, and had not much hope because there was a lot of people applying for the job, and today I had an interview, and was the last candidate to be auditioned. But I just got the mail saying that I'm the one they choosed! It's so cool!

Champagne everyone! :)

Good mix

I had an amazing weekend: It consisted in a good mix of cooking, meeting some friends, meeting a new guy, and flying.

Yasmin came at my place on Friday to test my turkish cooking level. I tried to cook some stuffed aubergines, with some spices that I had bought in Istanbul. The result was good, and I passed the test :)

On saturday, I went to a gay party. I went with Sarah, and at first it wasn't so cool. The music was, though, and a few beers helped to make me enjoy the night. As usual, there where many guys turning around. For a shy boy like me, it's cool to have people coming to me instead of having to go to them. I was not interested by many though. But Sarah saw a friend of her, and we went to say "Hi". She is speaking VERY loud, and she was drunk, so it was worse. We arrived behind him, and it was a guy with a hand on his back, obviously trying to hook up with him. She was like "I've got to introduce him to you, he's sweet, and she turned her head and saw what was going on and she yelded "oh NO!!! THERE IS SOMEONE CARESSING HIS BACK!!!" so loud that even with the music playing, EVERYONE heard her and turned to look at us (including the two guys) :D She freezed with a forced smile on her face for a moment, and I started to laugh so much! She was so sincere yelling that, as if it was a catastrophe :D

The guy (the one scratching the back) went, and I introduced myself. The conversation was not so fluent, but it went well anyways. Around 2pm I said I had to go because I had a plane to take the day after, and he was a bit dissapointed, but I told him that I wanted us to meet soon, and he kissed me. This guy has the softest lips ever... it was... awesome :P I gave him my number and received a message shortly after. He's cute :)

Waking up the morning after was not so easy, but I was just a passenger this time, a friend of mine wanted to fly around and had been looking for a passenger. The weather was perfect, and I'll let you see by yourself:

The highest mountain is the Mont-Blanc, the top of Europe

New start

I'm back on the campus. Everything is going it's way, and the end of my studies are coming nearer and nearer. If everything goes the way I planned, I'll get my master degree in one year. I woke up last night, and suddenly I realised that I had to be ready with a plan for the rest of my career. Last year, thinking about it, I had planned to go for a PhD. I have the grades and the capacity to do it, but it means a few supplementary years in the academic field. I like to study, but I begin to feel the urge to go on the market, to prove myself, to be confronted to real problems. I feel the urge to leave my cosy student life.

The path I'm on right now is undoubtfully leading to a good lawyer's career, to a more or less quiet life with it's lot of divorce cases, neighbours conflicts, unresolved bankruptcies etc... there is and will always be something to do. But after having thought about that, I realised that it is not what I want. I want a change in my life. When I returned from Istanbul, I realised how quiet this city can be, how I know everything and everyone, how things stays the same, how reassuring it can be, but also how boring. I need some fresh air, and I never dared to try the change, because I'm the slave of my belongings, and my nostalgia.

I need a new start, and I need to be confronted to the risk, and to the uncertainty, I need to go without anything holding me back. I took a decision, and made a plan: go abroad, study maritime law in a good university, and find a job somewhere in Europe or in the USA for a few years. The absolute dream is to study one year in UCL in London, but there are two problems: it is awfully expensive, and I have to come with excellent grades. This year started relatively poorly regarding the second point, but I can change it, and now that I have this goal in mind, I know that I can reach a good level, it's just a matter of work. Concerning the money, my father said that he would sell his socks if I needed it, he's 100% behind, and surprisingly, even my mother pushes me forward.

So, this is going to need more commitment than I've ever had provided in my life, but I think that I can do it, because right know, it's the thing that I want more than everything, a new aim, and a new start. I told Maria about it, and she was stunned, because she said that it's so not like me, and she is absolutely true. I never thought I would feel the urge to get out of here, to go abroad, and to abandon the routine I've been in for a few years. I even told you one year ago that I would never leave this place, but I had kind of a revelation last night.

I already started the necessary preparation, I'll have a serious talk with my family to fix a financial plan, I'll take some english lessons, and will prepare my master thesis this semester already, so that everything should be in order before next year. It's challenging, but thrilling, it will either be a success, of the first failure in my life.

Wish me luck :)

PS: I have a question. In order to go abroad, I have to take an english exam. I will prepare for it, but I want to have an idea of my english level, and therefore ask you what you think about my english level. Is is rather good or can you clearly see that it's not my native language? On a one to five scale, five being the highest grade and one the lowest, what would you think my level is? It's important for me to have an idea, so please answer! Thanks :)

If you don't know how to wear a tie, then don't!

I had the moot court this weekend. We left on thursday. We took our rooms and had some time to eat and visit the city before the welcome drink on the evening. We went to grab food before preparing the last details for our pleading wich was to be given on Friday. Around 2am, we tried to go to bed, Alessandro fell asleep easily, but I couldn't sleep, I was so stressed! and sharing a twin bed with him, half naked just beside me, did not make the thing easier...

We woke up early in the morning, took a shower, put our suits, and I did the tie knots for all my team. We headed to the court for a introductive meeting. We were to speak around 11 am, so we headed to our hotel room and continued to prepare, the stress was increasing, no one of us had ever spoken in front of a court, and we were to begin our career in front of some federal judges and the best specialists in the country, kind of scary!

We went back to the supreme court, and just before entering the tribunal room, I told my mates to adjust their ties, because they were really loose and it was really looking bad, and they were "easy man, it's what we say that counts, and I can't breathe if I adjust". We entered, the president presented the judges, and just before one of my mates started to speak, a judge asked the president to let him speak, and he looked at my mate, and said "Sir, let me tell you that I am deeply shocked by the way you present yourself in front of the court: your tie is loose, and not even aligned, and the last button of your shirt is not even closed. If you don't know how to wear a tie, then don't, this is an insult to the supreme authorities of the country!" I knew it... Good start!

Despite this incident, it went well. The opposite party spoke after us, and during the time they spoke I prepared the retort. It's damn stressing to listen, and to find a conterstrike at the same time, but it's also damn thrilling, I loved it :) I found the best argument ever, wich could destroy all the others pleading, and I had my time telling it, haha, I'll never forget the changing face of the other team :P

We went for another round in the afternoon, and then left the tribunal, happy, and looking forward to see who would be in the last round. We had given everything that we could, and although we knew that some had for sure been better, we still had some hope. There was a gala dinner in the evening, and this time the ties were adjusted :) Alessandro looks so hot in a suit, oh my god... He's half italian, half portugese, and has the body of Jesus Luz, if you add the latin lover look, and the perfectly adjusted suit... it's a crime to be that fit!

The results were told, and unfortunately, we were not selected for the last round. Knowing that, we made the most of free beverages that were offered by the sponsors, wich resulted in some innapropriate demonstrations of good temper :P The german speaking always says that we, the french speaking, are drunkards, and I think taht we gave them some points...

We left and headed to a nightclub with a group of friends, among wich there was a good looking shy guy that I was sure to have met somewhere. We looked at each other during the first part of the night, and then I went to talk to him. Unfortunately I was already a bit drunk, and I think that I looked like a dumb... I had a few beers with him, but I don't remember what I told him, so it's maybe better if I never see him again, lol

Alessandro and I left before the others, because I told him to take me home before I was too drunk. We came back to the hotel room around 1 am, but had fun until 5 in the morning. It was really cool to speak with him, and I think that he was really happy too, because he has an evil girlfriend who doesn't let him go out, and he doesn't go at his friends anymore.

Well, the weekend was absolutely great, it was really stressing, but a unforgetable experience! I'm looking forward to be a lawyer, and to feel like I'm going on a battlefield every morning :) Some think that to study law is boring, but they don't know what they are speaking about!