Time for an update

Hi guys!

A lot of things has happened during the last weeks... I started my new job, wich is amazing. But I'm so scared to make some mistakes! We deal with real money, real clients, and real potential trials. Forntunatelly, we are three legal advisor and we work together, to make sure that we don't miss anything and to share our point of view.

This weekend was my birthday. I was not in a good mood lately, I don't know why but I'm kind of depressive. Living alone never really affected me, but recently, I began to feel really lonely... I miss someone to share my day when I come back home.

I told you about a new guy. We had met at a party. We just had kissed, and then shared a few texts. After a while, he stopped texting, and I was a little disappointed. I went at another party last week and saw him with another guy, so it's probably better if nothing more happened between us. But I saw another guy looking at me during this party. My friend told me that he was watching me (which I had noticed). I went to talk to him, and I woke up at his the next morning. He's really cute. We exchanged some texts, and decided to meet again. He wrote something for my birthday, and it really pleased me to receive something from him. He came at my place yesterday. He brought a bottle of wine, and I did a simple meal. We didn't talk that much unfortunately, it was like we had nothing to say at each other... I tried various subjects, but the conversation never went a long way. However, he was still smilling and looking at me, as I was doing the same.

We went to the living room, and we started to kiss very gently, playing with each other, caressing each others hair, kissing our necks... it was damn sweet an good. It was not only erotic, it was as if it was our way to communicate. We couldn't find words, but we could find the perfect communication channel. We stayed for hours like that, looking at our eyes, caressing our backs. I could have stayed like that forever. The night we had together was equally sweet, it was wonderful, and I really needed that, some human contact, maybe even some love.

I didn't want to wake up this morning. Neither did he. We were so well, without having to speak, to feel this akward feeling you have when you look away, desperately trying to find something to say... But I had to go to work. I made some coffee, that we drank without speaking. We left my place and went each our way. He said thanks, and that we would meet soon, but I don't think that this will happen, and it makes me so sad. I feel like I'm never gonna find someone to love, and it's a horrible feeling... each time that I meet a guy and that it is going this way, it seems to me that I'm going further and further from the chance of not finishing my life sad and alone. Maybe it was just the wrong guys, but what if there is no right one?

Fortunately, I have my friends around, and they are the best you could wish, and they proove it to me every day.

Leaving for UK tomorrow, with Stan. I'm looking forward at a point that you cannot even imagine! I'll told you about it when I'll be back!

See you guys!