Big party, giant hangover

A few weeks ago, I went out with some friends of mine. We went to drink some beers in a bar, and just had fun talking together. I was not in the mood to go out after that, I had already said to them I would go home because I was a bit tired. But it turned out that one of the girls suggested to go to a big party where her friends were going, and that it was a gay "hetero-friendly" party. It sounded good to me, and without showing too much enthousiasm, wich would have sounded like a coming-out, I said I was finally in the mood of going out with them. I was hoping to meet some other gay people while the other were dancing.

I'm not a good dancer, at all ;) so as soon as we arrived, I headed to the bar to order a drink. A lot of guys stared at me, wich was nice, it seems that I do not look so bad apparently :P My friends went to dance but there was one girl that stayed with me as she's not into dancing either. We laughed a lot together, and drank far too much. We finally went to sit as I couldn't stand really well anymore. We were seated on the stairs that lead to the exit, and it was many guys that looked and smiled at me, but as I was talking with my friend, and she doesn't know I am gay, I did not want to go and talk with them, it would have been a coming-out and I was not ready to tell her.

As we were laughing, a cute guy came and said someting like "hey, I think we already met each other, didn't we?" wich was absolutely not the case, of course :) I wanted to speak with him because he was really cute, but it was a bit awkward with my friend just beside. I was also completey wasted, and had reached the point you cannot speak very well, you know, you think something and when you open your mouth, you really have to make a surnatural effort to make your tongue pronounce any word. As I was trying to think what to do, my friend told him "sorry, don't waste your time with him, he's straight" and I was like aaaargh! I wish I could have made her disapear at this moment! It was really a missed good opportunity. Anyway, I was so wasted that I dont know where it would have gone, either he would have rapped me without I noticing anything, or he would have found me so boring because of the alcohol that he would have dumped me after a few minutes...

So I went home, and woke-up with a mega hangover around noon. I was thinking about it and I thought I really had to tell some friends, so that I wouldn't miss some more opportunities just because I do not want to make them know I'm gay. I must have my hands free to act and to find someone, because life is not the real life without sex and love, it's just a waiting for something better, a boring stand-by. I am happy for sure, but not completely, I really miss having someone in my bed :)