Strasbourg

Tomorrow is my last day of uni before september. It's also the last time I see some of my friends before next academical year. I'm going to have a beer with Alessandro after the last lecture. He's going to Portugal during the summer, I'm going to miss him. Stan is working very hard to pass his year, and we had no time to meet since more that one month ago. He's going to Wales next year for one year, and he's found a work in Brazil for the summer, and he's not coming back to Switzerland in between, I'm really sad about that, I hope that we'll at least have some time to share a good meal before he goes away.

Saturday morning I take the train to Strasbourg in France. First time in five years that I go somewhere with my mother, I hope that we'll have a nice time. Anyways, I'll be able to go out by myself in case things don't turn out well. I've alrealdy been in this town, but I was not old enough to go out, I'll see if I find something nice to do on my evenings (I don't want to hold the candle for my mother and her boyfriend...)

I'll give some news when I come back! See you and have a nice weekend! :)

Outed...

Secrets never last, even the swiss bankers know that... I called Sarah today to have some news about her broken foot. She was the second person I came out to, because I trust her and she's one of my best friends. This trust was maybe a bit too strong, as she couldn't help to say that I came out to her to one of her gay friends. She had asked me and I told her I didn't want because he can't hold his tongue... but she did. I didn't want to because I knew he would told it to everyone, and that was exactly what happened, so now around 25 persons know that I'm gay. For the moment it doesn't really bother me, because it's a welcomed publicity in a way, the only problem is that most of the people that now know know other friends of me, and you know how it works, you tell three people that tell three others etc.

The main problem is that my sister and my cousin are related to many of them, and it's only a question of time untill one of them will know it... Of course I would have told them one day or another, but now this day that I thought that was so far is much nearer.

I'm quite disappointed about Sarah, I didn't expect that from her, especially after I told her not to tell her friend. At least I hope that this publicity will bring some knew guys around.

Trips

My father has his birthday today. He came here at noon and I cooked for the whole family. Here was the menu (in french as in every good restaurant :)

- Mesclun de salades de saison (Mix of salads with homemade sauce)

- Queue de lotte sauce safranée et sa ratatouille à la niçoise /Muscadet 2007 (Monkfish with a saffron sauce, french ratatouille, with a french dry white wine)

- Filet de boeuf beurre maître d'hôtel et pommes sautées / Château Roque-Lemaine (Bordeaux) 2002 (Beef filet with homemade herbs-butter, fried potatoes and a very good red wine)

- Fondant au chocolat parfumé au Cointreau (chocolate fondant perfumed with orange liquor)

I almost ruined the fish because I didn't saw that the cream I had bought was sour cream, and it didn't went at all with the saffron sauce. I could save the dish with a white wine wash and nobody noticed anything appart from me. We were not far from a catastrophe though!

On another topic, I only have a week left before the summer holiday, and I'm planning some trips during the summer. I'm going to France next week with my mother and her boyfriend. It will be the first time that I go abroad with my mother since 2004 (I had sweared never to go again after our last trip during with we were not far to kill each other) and I hope that it will be ok. It will be a little bit strange to go with her boyfriend too, but we get on rather well, so I think that it could be a nice trip, and I'm invited, that's why I said ok :)

After that, I'm probably going to Sweden for a week and a half, I want to go in the middle of June for there is a big traditionnal celebration called Midsommar, and I only attended one time when I was a child, and remember it was really cool. There is lots of food, drinks, and good mood (and of course lots of blond guys :)

I'm also thinking about paying a visit to a guy in Italy, but I'm not sure yet. It's the guy I met at the swimming-pool when I was in Basel. We chatted a bit on MSN recently, and he invited me at his place, aroung the Garda lake, a beautiful place that I dream to visit. It's an alpine lake in nothern Italy, with beautiful surroundings and wonderful small villages. The thing is that he's a bit strange. From what I know him, he seems a bit "socially inadequate". I mean, he has a strange behaviour with the people. He seems to be quite obsessive about the people he talks to. He says he has no friend, because when he tries to be friend with someone, they go away. I can understand that, because after we met he called three times a day even though I was not answering, wrote tons of messages... He seems to be nice, but not far to be an obsessive stalker. Now I know him a bit better, and I try to be friend with him, but I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to go to see him. He is also a bit graphic you know... he seems really turned on by me, and I wouldn't mind a little affair during a weekend around the lake, but on the same time, I don't want him to turn crazy about me...

and more of them

The pain was not normal. In fact, the dentist "forgot" to gave me antibiotics, and I got a mega infection, I stayed 5 days at the hospital because of his negligence. I could avoid the operation (they wanted to open my throat from the lower lip until the sternum to "remove" surgically the infection, because even 48 hours after they gave me the first massive dose of antibiotics, the infection was still growing, down to the airways). But finally they gave me another one and it started to work. I could go home today, but I still have to take medics for 2 weeks. No need to say that I'm never going to pay this dentist!

Doctors

I've seen a lot of them lately, and it is not the end... The last one I went to was the dentist. He removed one infected wisdom teeth on the lower jaw on Thursday, and since then I can't eat anything else than soup or yogurt, and it still hurts so much! I hope that it will go soon, because it's really horrible, I can't even sleep at night because of that, or only a few hours and then wake up because of the pain. The problem is that for an unknown reason, the pain killers, anesthesics etc. have no effect on me unless at a really big dose. The only thing that makes me feel a bit better is ice and clove. And of course, I look like a hamster... I have to go back in a few weeks to take two other teeth out, and then wait for the last one to go out. I'm looking forward :/

The other ones I saw were much more sympathical. I went to this party last week, given by a gay friend who lives with his boyfriend. I was told that some guys I met and I liked were to attend, and I knew that all the guys would be gay, and hoped I could maybe find someone interesting among them. I had the medicine student in mind, that I met at the hospital when I was working there. We never had time to speak at the hospital and I thought it would be a nice occasion to do so. But when I arrived, he was with two other doctors to be, and they were sticking to each other in a way that there was no way I could talk to one of them without taking the two others with us. I also wanted to determine wich one of them (if it was one) was single, because they were so close to each other, like sitting on each other lap etc.

After a moment, it annoyed me and I went to talk with some girls, and one of them, from what I was told, tried to hook up on me. I didn't notice anything of course :) She asked some of my friend if I was gay, and the gay doctors asked also to check if there was a possibility, but as I'm only out to a my best friends (although I never denied anything with the others) they said they didn't know, and it was the greatest confusion for everyone, and nobody dared to make a move on me. Definitely not the best strategy...

The party ended up with everyone singing musicals or dancing on Madonna (and you all know how much I love to dance) and I thought it was time to go. When going out I stumbled on wich was in fact our host, that had fainted because of too much cosmopolitans... I took care of him before going out, made him wake up, throw out (nice activity for a friday night!) and put him into bed after having brushed his teeth. I made sure someone was looking after him before going. So finally, nothing really interesting during this evening.

But! another doctor appeard a few days later, and I'm working on that... but no need to tell you all the story if it is to tell a few days later that it didn't work. I'm waiting to have some news from him. Pfff... the research for the beloved one is a long and hard task...

Exhausting week

The major party of the week has gone, and I'm looking forward to the weekend. This week was rather exhausting. I had a lot of work to do for the uni, and long days of work at the physical therapist's office. My boss is crazy, he works way too much, like 13-14 hours a day, without pauses (not even to eat at noon!!) and is stressed all the day long. As he's stressed, he shout at me and is really disagreable, he comes and throw papers on my desk and say "send that urgently to Mrs. X or Y!" and run back in the massage "room". I don't even know where to find the adress, and when he comes back and ask if it was done, and I say no he becomes crazy... but hey, it's not my fault, I can't do things correctly if I'm not told how to do them!

But I don't care, he does that because he's stressed, and I understand. As long as he keeps me and pay me, I would support that. It's really really hard to stress me out, I doubt he will manage to do it. I think that this atmosphere is the reason why most of the people before me never stayed more than three weeks at his service. I'm not stressed by him, and I "only " work 9 and a half hours in general, but I must say that it is exhausting though.

Yesterday, I came back home around 8pm, and prepared something to eat, and the crazy girl asked he she could come to have a drink. I said sure, but thought we would just have a drink and she would go, because I was really tired and wanted to have a rest. She came an hour later, and said that she had invited two other friend to share a bottle of turkish alcool! I was pissed because I wanted to go to bed, and I knew that it wouldn't happen if the two others were coming. In fact, three more people came, and I was really angry about that. I love to see some friends, but not when I'm coming back from work after a long day and have to wake up early the morning after. They left around 1 am! I think she could have asked me before inviting the other people to come, it would be the least of the courtesy...

Anyways, the weekend is almost there, and tommorow we have no lessons, because we are visiting the office of the service in charge of the bankruptcies, wich will be interesting I guess. And on the evening, I'm going at a friend of a friend, in order to meet a guy I met at the hospital, a very nice gay guy that study medicine. I'm looking forward :)

Alessandro

You know there is this guy at the uni, Alessandro, a tall italian, who's so good looking, athletic, nice, clever, fun, etc... We are always seating next to each other and spend all our time together when we are attending the lessons. He doesn't speak to other people, because he's really shy despite his size, shape an class, that would make any girl melt at first sight, and any boy get jealous. He's always coming a bit earlier than me, and take a seat for me. We are spending all our pauses toghether, discussing of random things. Our favourite activity is to comment the small happenings in our class. We are both very observant and see any detail, and our ears are also listening to any conversation, and there are always funny things to discuss, people always talk as if nobody was listening... That's why, for instance, we called a girl we know the "receptacle", for her boyfriend said to another guy that the only reason he was staying with her is that he could empty himself, very classy :D

We also have our daily conversation after the lessons. He's always in a hurry because his girlfriend is crazy, very jealous and controlling, and I think that for a few weeks, he's been really tired about her harassing him all the time. She calls every hour, checks his schedule, comes at the uni to check that he's not lying when he says he's there... Crazy girl. On the same time, I cannot guarantee I wouldn't be the same if I had a guy that attractive as a boyfriend :)

Well, we were outside, on the grass field just in front of the building. He was a bit nervous, I could see it because he was looking everywhere, moving nervously, and he said: "you know man, I dumped my girlfriend..." and I was "oh shit, why?" he became a bit more nervous, started to scratch his hair with his hand and said "I want to speak with you about something. It's been a few weeks now. You know... I don't know how to say that... we spend a lot of time together, and we have a lot of fun... I mean... you know, I hope that it wont scare you, but I feel something... between us, but I don't know how to say it..." My heart was beating at full speed, the world vanished around me, I looked at him and I said "go ahead, I'm sure I know what you want to say, and it's been weeks that I'm waiting for you to say that!" he seemed a bit surprised, looked at me and said with a trembling voice "I think... I think that... I'm attracted to you" It was like an explosion of happiness in my body, I was like floatting in the air. I slowly approached my mouth to his, and we started to kiss, greatest time ever...

But... there is a problem... I woke up :( At first I didn't remember the dream. And for a few hours, I was really happy. You know, when something good happens to me, or when I receive a gift that I really enjoyed, and I don't remember what it is, I have this happy feeling through my body and mind, and I think about what it is untill I find it. I just know that it's something good and I look for it untill I remember, and when I find what it was it's even better. I had this feeling during all this morning, but I finally remembered the dream, and remembered it was actually a dream. So disapointing... I was ready to pass a loooooooong boring sunday at home. Rainy, with nothing to do, nor anyone to see. That's the bad side when you live alone. I should have a cat or something, or a cool neighbour. I turned in the flat like a fish in a bowl for the whole day, and I'm looking forward to go to sleep! (and to go back in my dream)